10-27-2013, 07:39 PM
That changes things quite a bit. The second image now doesn't work quite as well, I think; if life is a mystery, then why shouldn't that sort of pizza be a metaphor? If life is just appetite, however, I can understand it being a mistake.
A little research helped me to get the Fred/Ascot thing; the allusion is to Fred Flintstone. Who is the galloping ghost, though?
A little more "denoatative bedrock" would help this thing to shine. The rhythm is nice, the language is pretty . . . But the meaning takes me in so many different directions.
A little research helped me to get the Fred/Ascot thing; the allusion is to Fred Flintstone. Who is the galloping ghost, though?
A little more "denoatative bedrock" would help this thing to shine. The rhythm is nice, the language is pretty . . . But the meaning takes me in so many different directions.
“Poetry is mother-tongue of the human race; as gardening is older than agriculture; painting than writing; song than declamation; parables,—than deductions; barter,—than trade”
― Johann Hamann
― Johann Hamann