10-27-2013, 11:35 AM
Todd,
I think the notes pull me right out of the experience of enjoying the poem. They are a real stumbling block for me to even get into it in the first place; by the time it's done, looking over more notes feels like a chore. Notes before and after just seem to be way too much. I would suggest toning it down to the point of setting a very brief, innocuous tidbit of context at the beginning, if not just eliminating the notes entirely. Something like "From Blah-Blah's Journal, Resident, Hillmont House Psychiatric" is as far as it should go IMO. I know I'm bucking against the trend of what most everyone is saying, but hey. That pretty much sums up my experience with this one, sorry I couldn't be more constructive.
I think the notes pull me right out of the experience of enjoying the poem. They are a real stumbling block for me to even get into it in the first place; by the time it's done, looking over more notes feels like a chore. Notes before and after just seem to be way too much. I would suggest toning it down to the point of setting a very brief, innocuous tidbit of context at the beginning, if not just eliminating the notes entirely. Something like "From Blah-Blah's Journal, Resident, Hillmont House Psychiatric" is as far as it should go IMO. I know I'm bucking against the trend of what most everyone is saying, but hey. That pretty much sums up my experience with this one, sorry I couldn't be more constructive.
“Poetry is mother-tongue of the human race; as gardening is older than agriculture; painting than writing; song than declamation; parables,—than deductions; barter,—than trade”
― Johann Hamann
― Johann Hamann