The Check-Out

[Todd]

Hi Jenn,

A couple minor points on the edit.

Edit ((Thank you))
Her short black skirt was inches from revealing more than thigh,
while bent to find the coins she dropped. His mouth betrayed a sigh,
enough hot breath to fog a glass. It made a sickness stem
inside my chest to spy his eyes attack the flimsy hem.
A nasty smirk appeared, she turned and accidentally pressed--I didn't call this out earlier because it didn't occur to me then. The first phrase here is in passive voice. It might work better shifting the phrasing to active voice.
her overflowing bosom up against my husband's chest.
My jaw unhinged. I thought my bulging eyes could take no more.
That's when he had audacity to touch that filthy whore.
Their giggling burst a vessel somewhere deep inside my brain.
I twirled to face a gentleman, leaning on his cane,
"My husband likes to flirt with every harlot he can find.--This is an improvement but after you've brought out filthy whore this has less impact. I'd keep looking for a suitable substitute.
I'm wondering if, for revenge, you'd like to fuck me blind?"

Just things to consider.

Best,

Todd