First "Italian" Sonnet

[tigrflye]

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The time will come when youth will forthwith flee forthwith? Who talks like this?
And beauty's just a relic of the past. this is a pretty line.. but relic of the past seems redundant.. what else are relics if not from the past
The tone of silken skin can never last
When nature takes its course and humbles thee. reword "nature takes its course
You'll hear the reaper come to set you free;
Regret for wasted time that spun too fast
And dreams unfilled that never came to pass
Will devastate your innermost esprit.

With youthful hue as yet upon your face
And breasts of Helen standing ever round, "ever round"..followed by "ever yours".. it bugs me.
The pleasures wrought by spring are ever yours!
So by my side I pray you'll take your place consider changing one of the words "sides" to something else
Exploring sides of life that rest unfound,
Together free to test forbidden doors.

I like the theme.. I take away the thought that youth and beauty is fleeting, so while you still have both, take my hand and let's live it up. I think some of the old-school phrasing/words comes off my tongue as trying too hard when I read it out loud but that is probably just a personal preference.
Overall, I like it.
-Jenn