"The right way"

[milo]

The right way
To:TecTak


In a world of dreams and consciousness, phenomenons and emotion
Odd to me, disaknowledge these, n make way for legitmacy and reason
Only to be tossed in systematic society of sharks and minnows in this ocean.

Resumes and degrees declare level of intelligence and capabilities,
But this sensation of needing to be beautiful, not right, is all I believe in
Naive, but I continue forward in pursuance of originality blocked by formalities.

A species who's predominant trate of success, was asking questions
Who have been deemed insane in result of their obsessions
And had any of the greats of our time been alive today,
All would look in disgust and would retract their work and say,
There is no "right way"

This really is quite terrible. The biggest problem is the endless listing of abstractions. It would be too much work to list them all but suffice to say this is just a list of abstractions. poetry needs a foundation in the concrete.

In addition to that (as if there really needed to be more) the spelling and grammar are atrocious and some phrases just don't parse at all.

Finally, the sonics are painfully ugly.

I would recommend scrapping it entirely, sorry i couldn't be more positive.

Thanks for posting.