10-23-2013, 09:29 PM
Viktor, the edit is much better. Your instincts are right though you need a title change for a couple reasons. Even if Ayn Rand didn't exist, the Atlas stuff feels weirdly bolted on next to things like YouTube. I think if anything it belongs in a different poem. The allusion doesn't support your content as well as it needs to.
Vultures would be a better working title, so I would agree with that change.
The edit is a step forward though.
Best,
Todd
Vultures would be a better working title, so I would agree with that change.
The edit is a step forward though.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson