Atlas Shrugged (Edit #1)

[billy]

if a line needs an explanation to the majority, it's probably to ambiguous or relevant to no one but the poet (i think)

it's great to see you editing with such willingness. in general it's a good edit. there's still room for another 1 or 2 but it's getting there
keep it as tight as you can re the and words etc.
other than that, well done.

If there's lines that don't make sense, ask me about it, and I'll explain it.
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Edit #1:

This isn't an epiphany, soliloquy or hyperbole.
And it's not an autobiography.
It's hypocrisy. more positive in it's deliverance.

Disclaimer; I'm not perfect and I never claimed to be. i wonder if it adds anything. it does voice the question, who said/thinks you are perfect?

Youtube was running slow, or maybe it was my internet.
While my video buffered, I wondered,
When was the last time I told my mother I loved her? it's not a difference sticking it in italics but it separates the thought well

That got me thinking about my priorities.
I'm running a marathon trying to catch up with pop-culture, much better from this reader's perspective,
which seems so vulgar like a vulture. i struggle a bit with this line but i can't say why
I spend so much time following that Twitter feed
and watching the latest TV series,
I've forgotten about all my responsibilities. no need for all

It's not our fault, because it's a part of us,
the same way Atlas' father is Iapetus.
Atlas fought for his freedom and was punished for it,
thrown out and treated like rubbish. this is a great importunity for an image/simile/metaphor
And that's why I publish this. i think this stanza is a bit wordy

It's a rallying cry; a voice for the Titans.
Atlas, come down from that height and, no need for and
let the sky fall, prepare for the brawl.
And men, let's work out our priorities.