novice poetry. for dummies

[tectak]

hey dummie.
are you reading me?
ha got ya.

Bunx,
Yes, jolly funny.
Look, if you cannot compete through your poetry,
please take up bungey jumping.
Punctuation, erratic and ill-informed.
Vernacular inconsistent
with the general theme of the piece.
Syntax inexplicable in any adult/erudite piece of work.
Probably achieves its purpose
but not significantly worthy of discussion,
not in any terms the author would understand.

Try harder.
Any more of this and you will be kept back after school.
Please do not respond to this crit,
I have heard it all before.
tectak

If this is the piece then this works for me, a well balanced poem showing how critique can help draw out the failings of such a simple three liner whilst at the same time deny the comic pie in the face routine that has been achieved in three lines of text. Best Keith

Hi keith,
my avatar in tongue-in-cheek
Best,
tectak