Atlas Shrugged (Edit #1)

[Todd]

Hi Viktor,

Let me give you some thoughts on this.

It had a pleasing cadence, and sounded good read out loud.

First poem I've written in ages. I'm not too happy with certain parts of it, wondering what you all think.
----------------------------------------------------------------
This isn't an epiphany, soliloquy or hyperbole.
And it's not an autobiography.
It's more like hypocrisy.

Disclaimer, I'm not perfect and I never claimed to be.

Youtube was running slow, or maybe it was my internet.
But while my video buffered, I wondered,
"When was the last time I told my mother I loved her?" --I wonder if this would be better in italics than with the quote

And that got me thinking about my priorities.
I spend so much effort staying up to date on pop-culture--up to date is a bit cliched maybe just current
which seems so vulgar like a vulture compared to purities.--I think purities doesn't work here. I know your trying to rhyme it with priorities but the image needs something better than this choice
I spend so much time following that Twitter feed
and watching the latest TV series,
I forget about my priorities.--something better here the repetition with your first strophe line feels a bit stale

Sometimes our priorities pile so high--Can I get a synonym for priorities? I mostly need a way that you can get to the next line.
that with the weight on our backs
you might as well call us Atlas
but it's not to say anything is impossible.

Even Atlas shrugged. --Here's the biggest flaw in the piece. Normally this is exactly where you put your conclusion, and it would work perfectly except for one thing. The Ayn Rand book title makes this less surprising and original through no fault of yours. I simply think you need something else even if you continue to use Atlas

So shrug off that weight and piece together the fragments of your life and focus on what's important.

The next time your favourite video stutters and buffers,
think about the last time you told your mother you loved her.--I think you come up with something to redeem the Atlas shrugged lines you should kill these last four lines of wrap up. They actually hurt you.

I think if you can get around that one issue you can make this work.

I hope some of that helped.

Best,

Todd