10-21-2013, 08:42 AM
I really enjoyed this! An incredible scene is crafted out of words, and my imagination just took it away.
I suppose the only critique I can give is about the beginning. It was hard for me to really figure out what was being said. I don't really know what advice I could give though to help it, it might just be me as I'm fairly simple minded.
I absolutely love the pace of the second stanza. It speeds up incredibly, and just hopes the reader can hold on! The third stanza caught me by surprise though. It slows down a lot, and the vernacular and phrasing changes styles; not sure if that was intentional, or just how it ended up.
Still, I loved it!
I suppose the only critique I can give is about the beginning. It was hard for me to really figure out what was being said. I don't really know what advice I could give though to help it, it might just be me as I'm fairly simple minded.
I absolutely love the pace of the second stanza. It speeds up incredibly, and just hopes the reader can hold on! The third stanza caught me by surprise though. It slows down a lot, and the vernacular and phrasing changes styles; not sure if that was intentional, or just how it ended up.
Still, I loved it!