10-20-2013, 02:56 PM
Overall, the poem itself has a simple, generic idea (life is a river sort of thing), and there isn't too much originality with the word choices either.
I do like the structure, and how it remains consistent. I also like the rhymes, with "snapped" and "back", and then another with "grasp" and "relax". I think you could have gotten more creative with your words if you had tried to rhyme more, and it would help the flow a bit better as well. I'm not one for over-rhyming, but with a poem like this, and the simple idea, good rhyming would add a lot more to the quality of it.
I do like the structure, and how it remains consistent. I also like the rhymes, with "snapped" and "back", and then another with "grasp" and "relax". I think you could have gotten more creative with your words if you had tried to rhyme more, and it would help the flow a bit better as well. I'm not one for over-rhyming, but with a poem like this, and the simple idea, good rhyming would add a lot more to the quality of it.