Quicksand
#4
(07-23-2013, 04:56 AM)jdguyb Wrote:  I have accepted the darkness into my soul
I accept that I am a dark man
Darker than you
Will there ever be light in my life?

The light scares me
It empowers my sword weakly
I must remain in the darkness
My friend, the darkness

What kind of darkness?
Do I dare tell the secret?
It's hard to say
For it is utmost evil

Quicksand
That's the dark source
Girls in it
Do you judge me?

Masturbation
To the darkness
Sustains my true aura
My true self

I have shared with you my secret
Do not judge me
For I am just a man
A Dark man
Assuming you are writing in the role of a character, and we must always make that assumption, then your character says very little in a whole lot of words.
To precis this:
I am screwed by life
and have given up.
I will live in the dark
and I need a fuck.
Leave me alone
in the endless night;
don't dare to judge me.
Just put out light.

If you take these lines and make a verse out of each you will still write a cliched old chestnut BUT as a disciplined method of producing embryonic poetry it might help. Alternatively, you can listen to whatever eulogistical praise comes your way and live happily ever after. Your call.
Very best,
keep at it,
tectak
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Messages In This Thread
Quicksand - by jdguyb - 07-23-2013, 04:56 AM
RE: Quicksand - by Malu - 10-18-2013, 05:48 AM
RE: Quicksand - by Viktor Vaughn - 10-18-2013, 06:24 PM
RE: Quicksand - by tectak - 10-18-2013, 07:05 PM



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