10-18-2013, 12:43 PM
Maya,
I'm very glad you liked it. Thank you.
Todd,
Thank you for your suggestions. I liked "built".. because I feel the narrator "made" the children that way with the diseased household. If that makes sense. They weren't just "spawned".. it wasn't their fault
"I thought, perhaps a better man?" - was supposed to mean that the narrator went outside of the marriage. Looking for a better man. The story would be just as good to me if I changed it to your suggestion.. or maybe I could look into making mine more clear. "I thought, perhaps a different man?"
I'm very glad you liked it. Thank you.
Todd,
Thank you for your suggestions. I liked "built".. because I feel the narrator "made" the children that way with the diseased household. If that makes sense. They weren't just "spawned".. it wasn't their fault
"I thought, perhaps a better man?" - was supposed to mean that the narrator went outside of the marriage. Looking for a better man. The story would be just as good to me if I changed it to your suggestion.. or maybe I could look into making mine more clear. "I thought, perhaps a different man?"