10-17-2013, 12:59 PM
Nick,
Thank you. I agree on the points you made. Except for the line about the tree's arms. I like the way your suggestion reads except for trying to rhyme arms with be. As Billy pointed out
not all of the rhymes actually "rhyme" but I like them to sound closer than that.
Billy,
perfect suggestions I think. Thank you.
I usually do prefer poems that rhyme,.. at least for my own poetry, at least right now.
Admittedly I tried to pair some words that didn't quite rhyme, and sacrificed to telling the story instead of the rhyme.
You are saying I can't get away with (wage, pay).. (dared, there).. (left, test) ? Haha. Tough crowd
Thank you. I agree on the points you made. Except for the line about the tree's arms. I like the way your suggestion reads except for trying to rhyme arms with be. As Billy pointed out
not all of the rhymes actually "rhyme" but I like them to sound closer than that.Billy,
perfect suggestions I think. Thank you.
I usually do prefer poems that rhyme,.. at least for my own poetry, at least right now.
Admittedly I tried to pair some words that didn't quite rhyme, and sacrificed to telling the story instead of the rhyme.
You are saying I can't get away with (wage, pay).. (dared, there).. (left, test) ? Haha. Tough crowd