Poem about society; need help finishing?

[Selma Pew]

Hi Selma,

First, if I can offer some encouragement: you have an idea and a message! This is fantastic, and it is this very place from which all writing must start. There is a poem-in-embryo here, no doubt about it. It is just a question, it seems to me, about how to flesh it out. To that end, we need to introduce you to the concept of the image. Images are strange configurations indeed, but they are part and parcel of what makes language so rich and incredible a phenomenon. This is so much the case, that our possession of language, and our ability to make images with it, is much of what marks human beings as nature's crowning gem.

What, then, is an image, in the sense of one rendered in language? It perhaps is most helpful to use ostension to point it out - to show it rather than offer an abstract definition. But there you have it. I just used an image, to try and communicate to you the essence of the image. In fact, in trying to relate to you what an image is, I've been using images all along, rendered above in bold. Hell! Even the word image, it might be argued, is an image: after all, we are not, with language images, ever literally seeing or touching things. And obviously, I'm not literally pointing to anything, after all. But notice that all of these words in bold can have other meanings, in this context: we can talk about how we've "seen the light" or "seen the truth," as much as how an image or a poem has "touched us." Thus I do certainly mean something in saying that it is best to try and point to a particular image as an example. With all of this, hopefully you can see how language-images are so ubiquitous and powerful, that our efforts to communicate without them are, in some sense, crippled.

Hence my suggestion: find some images to use. This is not always easy. Sometimes, you just have to let them come to you. Other times, certain images will spur others in you. As an exercise, here is what I would recommend: take every line of your list, and add the words "like" or "as" after each abstraction you mention. Then think of concrete examples of things that exemplify each abstraction. So, we might try something like this:

We are told to be
Intellectual, like a stuffy old professor, in an itchy wool sweater vest
Logical, as an algorithm, programmed to parse black from white
Cynical, like a jaded coin, that knows its fate is to pass hands
Sensible . . . etc.

Anyhow, I hope that was useful to you. I would very much like to see you complete a revision to that effect; it would give me great satisfaction. Best of luck with your writing!

PLEASE HELP I DONT KNOW HOW TO END MY POEM?? OR WHAT TO TITLE IT!

We are told to be
Intellectual
Logical
Cynical
Practical
Sensible
(blind)

We are told to trust
Society
Knowledge
History
Religion
Science
(madness)

We are taught to be
Reasonable
Responsible
Clinical
Rational
Digital
(lifeless)

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Also, the words 'Blind', 'Madness' and 'Lifeless' were supposed to be indented, i guess the formatting didnt work out

Thanks so much, you were a great help!!