Translations of Goethe; Ongoing Project

[tectak]

Hi there. I have undertaken the project of translating Goethe from German to English and I'd like some feedback on what I have so far. I will occasionally post specific poems here on the forum, but I have many already done and online (I translate and post one a day). You can read them at www.goingvongoethe.blogspot.com . I am open to workshops on any of them, just copy and paste the poem here in this thread and we can get to talking =).

Anyway, this is the poem I've been having the most trouble with lately.

The King of Thule

There was a king of Thule
who loved, to the very end,
his maiden's chalice jeweled
death’s finest ruby red.

At each feast he drank
and spoke of no one else;
From heaven she watched him drink,
so oft he drank to heaven’s health.

And when death came for him,
he took the cup to hide;
He gave away his kingdom,
but none would take her ruby eyes.

He held a royal banquet,
gathered all his knights
here at Goden’s hamlet,
high on the Cliffs of Kyte.

And so stood the old dreamer
as he drank the final embers of life,
then threw his lover’s chalice
to the foaming waters of the night.

He watched it drop and drink,
disappearing to the sea.
He saw once more her image blink,
and never drank again.

Oh boy...I know this is risky so I will go rhetorical....when, if ever, is a translation a poem? Harrrumph!
Best,
tectak