10-14-2013, 05:59 PM
*sobs despondently*
I'm thinking this might need a total re-work done on it. I was trying to work in a sense of despair, using something physical (a skateboard wearing down over time) to relate to a mental state doing the same thing, but I don't think I'm achieving that. You're totally right though, this does sound more than a little melodramatic. I think the confusion from the object itself being niche knowledge is preventing anyone from seeing past it.
bleh. I shall have to sleep on it, then return in the morning with a pair of scissors and a red pen, see if I can't salvage something good.
I'm thinking this might need a total re-work done on it. I was trying to work in a sense of despair, using something physical (a skateboard wearing down over time) to relate to a mental state doing the same thing, but I don't think I'm achieving that. You're totally right though, this does sound more than a little melodramatic. I think the confusion from the object itself being niche knowledge is preventing anyone from seeing past it.
bleh. I shall have to sleep on it, then return in the morning with a pair of scissors and a red pen, see if I can't salvage something good.
-Lexi