TV genie
#3
(09-06-2013, 01:47 PM)tramiant Wrote:  the man who tells yet cannot teach Usually the case haha
at present remains the one who draws
the attention of those that satisfy
vain curiosity good

attention short short attention span, with the vocabulary used in this poem, I think you can find a better word than "short"
while meaning wanting, this line sounds weird
one seeks the draw of
screen to take
the pain of days from forethought

format new yet medium old,
no new ideas expected from observation
as only actions may be observed
when intentions bear no merit

wishes granted nothing learned
time wasted, age advanced
none the wiser of life lapsed Best stanza, so it makes for a good ending.
I liked idea of this poem, sometimes simple things can be told in a complicated way, or abstract way. I find poems like that to be fun. It allows for creative individual interpretations. Thanks for the read
I never highlight my flaws or deficits
Because none of that will matter when death visits
Reply


Messages In This Thread
TV genie - by tramiant - 09-06-2013, 01:47 PM
RE: TV genie - by rowens - 09-16-2013, 08:35 AM
RE: TV genie - by Malu - 10-13-2013, 03:43 AM
RE: TV genie - by SoftWords - 10-14-2013, 05:03 PM
RE: TV genie - by Erthona - 10-15-2013, 11:36 PM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!