10-12-2013, 03:42 PM
English romanticism I know, German, not so much. The form here appears to be a syllabic sonnet, as it has ten syllables per line, but no consistent meter, although in a number of lines it follows IP closely. Of course the same problems that arise in a sonnet that is written in IP, also arise here, that is flipped syntax, sometimes known as Yoda speech.
"as if the world from it a sickness flung:
a rash, wrought by how bright his star did burn."
Some lines are awkward regardless of the form one might wish to attach to them such as:
"Like smoke, their whispers clung to the arid"
this does lead into the next line that starts on a half foot, but is in IP.
"halls of Academe, where sterile thought"
Still the fifth line is awkward at best.
The syntactical problems get worse in such lines as
"Yet all such men fail thereby represent"
the simple lack of the "and" causes such confusion as to make getting sense from this line difficult, and frustrating.
None of these problems are anything new to sonnet writers, especially those not very familiar with the form, and oftentimes those with some familiarity.
The positives are that the writer appears to understand what constitutes a sonnet and tries his/her best to conform, and I also suspect after reading over it a few more times the intent was probably to adhere to IP, and just experienced some failures along the way. Although a sonnet is technically not a difficult challenge, the difficulty rises in the extreme when we add the qualification of sounding natural.
I can certainly understand the anger in the piece as the romantics were assailed unmercifully by the modernist for their supposed reliance on sentiment, although it was actually the poor imitators not the masters that produced copious amounts of that overly sentimental drivel that still is inflicted on us today most often in the form of the "love poem". Caught up in the new rationalism of scientific determinism they were overwhelmed in their desire for objective poetry (a more soulless form of writing has never been known) . Thus Novalis along with the rest were cast aside, often brutally, together with the old morality and mores. Kill them all, kill all the Baron Von Munchausen.
One final note, I would change "health" and wealth" to some other rhyme as "health" makes no sense at all.
Dale
"as if the world from it a sickness flung:
a rash, wrought by how bright his star did burn."
Some lines are awkward regardless of the form one might wish to attach to them such as:
"Like smoke, their whispers clung to the arid"
this does lead into the next line that starts on a half foot, but is in IP.
"halls of Academe, where sterile thought"
Still the fifth line is awkward at best.
The syntactical problems get worse in such lines as
"Yet all such men fail thereby represent"
the simple lack of the "and" causes such confusion as to make getting sense from this line difficult, and frustrating.
None of these problems are anything new to sonnet writers, especially those not very familiar with the form, and oftentimes those with some familiarity.
The positives are that the writer appears to understand what constitutes a sonnet and tries his/her best to conform, and I also suspect after reading over it a few more times the intent was probably to adhere to IP, and just experienced some failures along the way. Although a sonnet is technically not a difficult challenge, the difficulty rises in the extreme when we add the qualification of sounding natural.
I can certainly understand the anger in the piece as the romantics were assailed unmercifully by the modernist for their supposed reliance on sentiment, although it was actually the poor imitators not the masters that produced copious amounts of that overly sentimental drivel that still is inflicted on us today most often in the form of the "love poem". Caught up in the new rationalism of scientific determinism they were overwhelmed in their desire for objective poetry (a more soulless form of writing has never been known) . Thus Novalis along with the rest were cast aside, often brutally, together with the old morality and mores. Kill them all, kill all the Baron Von Munchausen.
One final note, I would change "health" and wealth" to some other rhyme as "health" makes no sense at all.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.