2nd Draft: 7 Commandments My Child Should Know (after Tonya Ingram)

[Malu]

1. Honor the sea After only reading this first line, I have to say I'm with you on this one. Growing up in Hawaii, I've learned to have a great deal of respect for the ocean and nature as a whole.
for the sailor in your blood. Made me think of a "son of a gun" and by that I mean the more or less accurate description I learned in middle school about that child being born between the cannons of a ship, so I see how they have that blood in them.
For the lack of anchor I enjoyed
in my ankles.
My body has been boat
since divorce papers
taught me how to choke
the eternity out of a vow.
I am great at leaving
what I love.

2. Mental illness runs
in my mother's family
so leaving was more
like a race for sanity. Clever as well, hard to outrun these things
A relay to forget. Pass the baton!
I am afraid that schizophrenia 
is what became of Liz
because she stopped writing. 
I am afraid that I too
may get caught between
a rock and a hard place I've heard this before, forgot what it completely meant though
called depression.
When a poet stops
being a poet,
all that silence must leave
room for the walls
to start speaking in tongues.
And when those homeless
holy ghosts can't live
in your poems,
they post themselves
in your dreams.
Love yourself out loud. I didn't make the best connection with these past six lines, a bit unclear to me

3. On the days
when your body feels
more alley than alter, Not sure with what you mean by alley, the definitions I found don't seem to match well. And alter is a verb, I don't think that's a good place for one.
and you can't manage
to believe in any God
who could think
you are worth dying for,
go back to bed.
Scatter your sacred congregation
of bones beneath blankets.
Don't come out
til you feel whole again. Got a clearer message with this one

4. Love yourself to pieces. In the moment
Your muscles only grow
from being torn and rebuilt I enjoyed this line
so it makes sense for you
to crumble. Destruction
is a form of creation. A arguably debatable form at that
It is okay to be broken. That's how bones get stronger
It is okay to dance
in the middle of your ruins.
Movement is a sign of life.
Show the world you're
still alive. Also a more clear message, and a good one

5. Love this magic called
life because you
are the child of magicians. 
We people of Black suits
and bow ties threaded
from braided chains.
We, wands for wrists,
perfect for reaching
for potions and people
and dreams.
We, top hats for teeth,
perfect for abracadabra speaking
things into existence. 
We, artists. 
We, storytellers. 
We, preachers and poets.
We who spit spells disguised
as spoken word.
Poems that work like prayers
birthed between pews.
We, walking sanctuaries
who birth life. Love, 
you are nothing short
of magic. I enjoyed this whole stanza the most so far

6. When my father moved out,
my mother stopped moving. Clever
Became a southern shipwreck What does that look and feel like?
of scriptures and beached
her hands across the crests
of my cheeks.
Looked at me to be
lighthouse during storm. These past four lines gave me a generic image
I read somewhere,
that as adults,
we try growing into the traits
that would've rescued our parents
but I'm hoping you never
feel the need to save me. These last six lines were good

7. These days,
my mother's hips
don't miss the chance
to kiss a beat Do her hips don't lie as well?
like Stevie Wonder
was just invented. Interesting to depict a person as an invention
And my God,
isn't it lovely? I would agree
How she finally
learned to wear
her lonely in the sway
of her shoulders to keep
the shame of an empty
ring finger from spilling
over her children. I had to read these past seven lines as one sentence for it to sound right to me. There are no commas in it, so this is fine, but I think these can be adjusted so it reads better
See Love, you come from a long
line of magicians who've
nearly died trying to pull off
a miracle like you, Full circle, good device
but I don't need your rescue.
You are my final SOS.
You are the result
of prayers wrapped in
the silk of southern accents.
My plagiarized draft of a poem
called God.
You are the only
graven image our creator
has ever commissioned.
Treat yourself as such. This reminded me of some internet thing, "You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Act like it." we can debate over the "factual" aspect of this quote with earth history and bunch of other things, but this is just what your poem reminded me of. Nothing more than that, so that is not the matter at hand, but what is, is that you displayed it in a much more poetic and soft way.

I liked this, didn't get every concept fully, but managed to get a good take home message. Thanks for the read.