Newton's Cradle (revision)

[Malu]

Newton's Cradle

Terror is never as simple as the unseen clacking ball.
It is always the doll with a butcher’s knife, terrifying image, chucky?
crawling through ventilation shafts,
or the stranger that follows you home—
with each imperceptible connection
acting as a marker.

We scan the skies for flying monkeys, wizard of Oz reference?
or wander through corn fields
to the music of the moon, with its midnight waltz I enjoyed this line
of straw zombies--simple distractions What do you mean by straw zombies? The scarecrow with no brain?
to protect us from the truth.

The witch cackle, cackles and you will believe
that you can never go home. Another wizard of Oz reference?

A fingerprint will smudge
cancer on an X-ray I enjoyed these lines as well

The clatter of the metal duct
will cover the creak of tiny feet on hardwood I'm getting an image of that doll in the metal duct/ventilation shaft, and the hardwood below, so the tiny feet must be unsuspecting? of what's about to happen next, but do these tiny feet represent more? Because I'm not completely sure what you're alluding to with that. I think I'm a little off with these lines.

The funnel cloud swirls
like a swarm of restless bees. A funnel cloud swirling OF restless bees would be a true nightmare, especially if you're allergic. Imagine that

The ball is already swinging. It always is, isn't it

Death comes first
then the dying. Ouch, gives a good last statement to wrap this poem up

~~~

The original poem is here. I got a great deal of good feedback that led to this revision. Thanks all!

The imagery was good here, I was a bit unsure with some parts. I get a sense of where this poem is going, but I don't feel that I got a clear destination. Of course, that could be you leaving it open to interpretation which is good, but for the take home message, I didn't comprehend it in it's entirety. Thanks for the read