10-11-2013, 06:08 AM
Lets see... I like it, I think it gives a feeling of confidence and fits with the story of the piece, with the tune and metering it does kinda sound a bit clunky but I can't bring myself to tell you to change it. try to see how you would feel if you dropped 'there' from that line i think it throws it off slightly. at the beginning of the second section the syllables in the lines get thrown of a little but i feel like its not noticeable until you reach that line in particular. but i may be hearing it differently in my head