a kind of sonnet

[milo]

When I have risen early from my bed
to force myself to best the day’s surmise,
I find my mood is ragged, hollow, shred.
I hate dawn’s rosy fingers at sunrise.

I’d rather stay all twined within my sheets --
For you are there. And leaving you behind
when staying promises delights aesthetes
would die to taste and revel in supine
is foolishness, and like to wrath the gods
for spurning their good gift to me that’s you.
But duty calls and duty wants its aching due
so sore a thing its burden is; the bloody sod.
And so I grumble up myself to face anew
another day far from the nesting of
your arms, far from the rest you bring to me
when I, within their fold, am made to see
how blissful life can be, how it’s enough,
not wealth, or fame, to lift me up to glee.
But then I think of how you wait for my return,
and I can glibly say to duty then,
O burn and burn, you bleeding wanker, burn!

The practice forum is really about whether you met the rules or not and as I don't know the rules of this form you have here it is tough to say whether you accomp,ished them. Some lines have six feet and some have four, there are some grammar errors and sunrise is a trochee not an iamb. In addition there is a lot of obvious padding, tortured phrases and some awkwardness as well.

I could probably be more help and maybe even attempt one of my own if you posted the rules first as is the normal practice in the practice forum.