kiss again (an etheree)

[Keith]

The line that bothered me most was L7 --might be a language barrier issue, but maddening is the adjective form, and I *think* you've used it as a noun because it doesn't modify anything. You could use maddeningness, but that's just an oddball of a word to me. Like I said it could be the difference of countries, not sure.

As the OED shows, maddening is also a noun:

maddening, n.
Etymology: < madden v. + -ing suffix1.

The act or fact of making or becoming mad [in the sense of "crazy" not "angry"]

1775 J. Ash New & Compl. Dict. Eng. Lang. Suppl., Maddening, the act of making mad.
2001 www.salon.com 14 Dec. (O.E.D. Archive) , With their repeated vague warnings of imminent terrorist attacks, our national leaders risk achieving something similar—a maddening of the country's mood.

I didn't mind so much the god's voice, because I think certain things are very transient by nature...and a really nice kiss is.

Yes, and I'm sure that people have a pretty good idea about what a god's voice is/might be like, whether they have experienced it or not. The idea is not contentless.

In any case, thanks for your kind words.

Jeffrey

Hi Jeffery
This is the first time I've seen an etheree so thank you for the introduction, could I just say you seem to be struggling with the workshop, I think you have had some great feedback here that would help you improve the poem, you make a very good case for not changing or nullifying critique, however the point remains open that maddening just doesn't sound right to the average reader and it can cause a stumble. As for the suggestion from Milo about a switcharoo on how you could change the focus, I though this was an excellent suggestion and very helpful. I'm not sure what you want to achieve and you are relatively new to the site but reading your replies does not make me want to offer crit even when it is obvious you could benefit from it. In my opinion you will put people off commenting and that would be a shame because you obviously have a lot to offer this community and I have really enjoyed reading your poetry. Best TOMH