kiss again (an etheree)

[milo]

Umm ... John?


Jeffrey

Oops, sorry. There is an interesting lesson in simile here if you will indulge me.

As poets we want to take the abstract or unrelatable and compare it to the concrete or relatable to create an experience for the reader. You have done the opposite here. You have taken something we can relate to (a kiss) and described it in a way we can't relate to (god's voice).

Think how much more powerful it is to describe god's voice as a kiss.

Isn't that sort of what I did?

Jeffrey

You did the opposite, you took something we.can all relate to (a kiss) and attempted to describe it in terms none of us have experienced (god's voice)

Good poetry takes the conceptual (gods voice) and makes it relatable (a kiss)