Blue dot
#3
(10-03-2013, 06:38 AM)Sonata Wrote:  I wrote "I love you" across my whole body
just so you can see that I actually do.
I used a blue pen, and it seems it won't go away.

With every shower it slowly dissapears,
But there are still marks.

Today, there's just a small blue dot right bellow the belly,
And water in the shower is getting cold.
I'm not very sure where this poem is going. I thought of the blue pen as possibly you writing in blood since blood is blue before it comes in contact with oxygen. But that doesn't seem to be the case. I'm beginning to think I understand, after rereading several times, but don't want to give a second incorrect interpretation. Thanks for making me think about how it all comes together, it challenged my simple mind. My critique on the matter would be that, even though this poem is a good length and concise, I would like to see maybe one to two more lines added to each stanza in order to elaborate, but then again, that's probably me not seeing the concept right underneath my nose.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Blue dot - by Sonata - 10-03-2013, 06:38 AM
RE: Blue dot - by rowens - 10-03-2013, 07:47 AM
RE: Blue dot - by Malu - 10-06-2013, 02:02 PM
RE: Blue dot - by Sonata - 10-06-2013, 06:31 PM
RE: Blue dot - by Malu - 10-07-2013, 02:39 AM
RE: Blue dot - by Keith - 10-07-2013, 07:18 AM
RE: Blue dot - by jringo_ - 10-12-2013, 03:29 AM
RE: Blue dot - by RyanRader13 - 10-12-2013, 03:36 AM
RE: Blue dot - by Sonata - 10-12-2013, 08:31 AM
RE: Blue dot - by beaufort - 11-10-2013, 10:56 PM
RE: Blue dot - by rayheinrich - 11-11-2013, 05:28 AM
RE: Blue dot - by billy - 11-11-2013, 10:26 AM
RE: Blue dot - by tectak - 11-12-2013, 04:00 AM
RE: Blue dot - by killthepoet - 11-21-2013, 04:58 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!