First

[Jeffrey Gibson]

A few remarks:

First

Hold the sphere in your hand, lips parted,
and sink into the untarnished shine

Your syntax indicates that you are directing the person you are speaking to sink him/herself into a shine.

I think you meant to say sink your teeth in the sphere. And can one sink into a shine?

And why the almost complete absence of punctuation throughout this piece, especially where punctuation is actually needed?


Jeffrey