Writer at work [naughty word warning]

[Apophrades]

You seem to have rushed this piece, indicated by the lack of apostrophes.

This piece would benefit from more 'interesting' word choices for what you're trying to describe. e.g. blurred (see suggestions below).

Because you've decided to use colloquialisms and phonetic spelling of words, I suggest you have some dialogue, and perhaps try to set a 'scene.'

Her tatts are blurred by wine (Her Monroe tatt stained crimson blonde, a red wine evening)
She kinda smells like cat piss

I tap on the butcher papered typer This reads awkwardly. I'm not sure what you're saying so I can't offer a suggestion.
as the rooms bulb dances from the cord room's
(fucking trains)

My rig is darted in the wall I'm not sure what a rig is :/
Won't need it anymore, finally met God

Ashtrays everywhere
All overfilled Overfilled ashtrays, everywhere
That babe can sure suck some butt

Gotta finish this piece
Get some sack time
Tomorrows horror dawns early Tomorrow's