poem critique possible?

[ChristopherSea]

I think this has potential with a tune up. First you need to spell check for the typos. Second, there is a misuse of ellipsis… They should denote either unfinished thoughts or spans of time. I like the steampunk images and I would play them up more and trim the narrative. Also, there are unusual line breaks and they are too frequent throughout. Break for meter and drama. Try capping only the first words in each sentence (not the first one in each line), as it will improve the flow and comprehension. I hope this helps you in anyway. All the best!