Bloodletting

[tigrflye]

I want to collapse, I don't like this comma
and seep between atoms I love the idea of dissolving into the atom. I'm just not sold on "seep". I wish I had a better word for you
like mountain mist
shifting through valleys, before
sinking to vaporous oceans.

I want nature to scream, and I don't like this comma. I don't like it ending with "and"
strike me with her lighting,
so that I might split
like a backyard tree. love the tree

Smear me across a thousand miles.yes
I want to be windswept,I don't like this comma
and faceless.

I want nothing,eh..vague..boring.. I would lose these two lines. They
and everything.seem to sum up your poem.. isn't this what you are trying to convey within the rest of the poem, I want to FEEL this without you just plain old TELLING me. And I do. I feel it! You don't need this.

I want disintegration.

Exhale —yes.