So This is the End?

[tectak]

thanks for the suggestions. I agree, some of it is lengthy, making it easy to trip over the lines. When I write, i don't tend to count syllables as much as i focus on rhyming but i took some of your suggestions. I like it more now. Thanks for the feedback

Well perhaps you should. Rhymes can fail if the rhythm stumbles. That is a basic rule which though made to be broken, cannot be compensated for by JUST simple rhyming. ing-ing-ing-ing
Best,
tectak