Memory of Baptism

[addy]

Another nice effort. Don't worry about writing religious poems; yours are very lovely

after she gave birth
my mother took me to be born

to a hospital of pews
and not beds
frankincense instead
of disinfectants
and bent statuettes
which crowded solemn walls
marking the absence of
hanging PHDS
or any trace of
medical machinery. I think you can compress these last four lines, they seem telly (to me). e.g. "abstinent from framed PHDs and costly machines" (nicer lines than that of course )

but the doctor did wear
a traditional white
and in the april light
that leaked through this doesn't need it's own line, I think, since it barely adds anything. How about "staining rainbow windows" or something like that?
the stained glass windows
he looked like id imagine
a ghost would
nearly transparent
in the purifying sun

my parents spoke only
"lawrence, lawrence"
to him, and he smiled
above his folded palms
before opening them in water
and blessing me...
that's the extent
of my memory. Not the ending I would choose... it really took me out of the poem. Try ending with an image ("my name, candle-bright in my memory"... something much nicer than that)