09-28-2013, 02:15 AM
I think "atoms" is fine. In all honesty, this doesn't need to be changed much. If you do incorporate some changes, listen to your poem, but this seems to be all there. If you want to really nitpick, there are some words you could take out, but it's up to you.
As far as the theme goes, I like the exploration of the human feeling of wanting to simply be left alone. You don't sound troubled, just introspective and contemplative. As a person with introvert tendencies, I find it annoying how others think that it is something to be fixed rather than a state of being within a human spectrum. I really enjoy the expansiveness of this. Thank you for sharing.
As far as the theme goes, I like the exploration of the human feeling of wanting to simply be left alone. You don't sound troubled, just introspective and contemplative. As a person with introvert tendencies, I find it annoying how others think that it is something to be fixed rather than a state of being within a human spectrum. I really enjoy the expansiveness of this. Thank you for sharing.