it feels a bit gruesome but i like it.
i wonder if the period could be intimated to in the title some way, telling us it's 1152 seems a bit cheaty, plus i got a sense of an earlier period from the rest of the poem. i do like the narrative of and in the poem
thanks for the read jack
i wonder if the period could be intimated to in the title some way, telling us it's 1152 seems a bit cheaty, plus i got a sense of an earlier period from the rest of the poem. i do like the narrative of and in the poem
thanks for the read jack
(09-27-2013, 11:11 AM)Heslopian Wrote: They take her down like a sandbag,
cutting the rope and letting her thud the thud is palpable
on the copse's green, unyielding scalp.
She's not been dead long, still firm in breast and cunny. would She'd not bee.... be better or does the line need quote marks. (who's saying the line ) i did think the latter part of the line was enough as it infers what the 1st statment tells.[b]
"Better than anythin' money
can buy" chirps Mr. Wicke.
The undertaker tells himself not to let this beast alone
with her or any girl. The year was 1653, [b]why the year? can the time be guessed without the telling?
and all across the wavey moors a tree,
a peak, a rock would serve
the Christian ends of girls and wives.
"Did you know 'er, Mr. Thwaite?"
The undertaker wipes his brow.
"No I didn't, Mr. Wicke; now get the wagon close".
The brighter eye of God hovers just behind the tree, is just needed?
as badgers burrow furtively beneath her tender feet. i can't reconcile behind the tree with this line, though i do like the image.