Madge - revised

[NewJerseyMan99]

Much of this is very good - I like the last half much better than the first half. The first half comes across to me as somewhat smug, somewhat schlocky. The "fat people sex on a hot night" line made me very sick to my stomach, and I don't think I'm the only one that would react this way. Is that really how you want to affect the audience?

Nevertheless, the metaphors for hell - the heat, the poverty, the neglected body of the woman - are excellent and profound. Overall, a very effective poem with a strong message.