09-26-2013, 11:37 AM
Reading this makes me itch lol
I do like the metaphor its simple but effective. While I have never felt addiction to alcohol I can certainly relate to the notion of itchyness, this reminded me a lot of the times i've had poison ivy.I think the short sentences, small lines and repetition support your theme pretty well. There is something frantic to it that suggest an uneasy mind. I did find the inconsistent use of periods in the parts where you repeat the same word distracting. Im not sure if I liked "sick" just because it felt like it was more direct to the idea of Alcohol then the rest of the metaphorical language. Enjoyed reading (:
I do like the metaphor its simple but effective. While I have never felt addiction to alcohol I can certainly relate to the notion of itchyness, this reminded me a lot of the times i've had poison ivy.I think the short sentences, small lines and repetition support your theme pretty well. There is something frantic to it that suggest an uneasy mind. I did find the inconsistent use of periods in the parts where you repeat the same word distracting. Im not sure if I liked "sick" just because it felt like it was more direct to the idea of Alcohol then the rest of the metaphorical language. Enjoyed reading (: