09-26-2013, 08:39 AM
hoowee, the heat.
That was a fun read, thanks for posting.
A few notes: For me, the poem didn't grab me until the third stanza. I felt the same on second read, might change my mind tomorrow. I also felt a lag in the middle.
I especially like S5, I can see the handy-man boy, loved that, and can hear the post-drip silence.
Another favorite is S9, I can see her lopsided face dripping. And I liked the "almost".
Great job.
That was a fun read, thanks for posting.A few notes: For me, the poem didn't grab me until the third stanza. I felt the same on second read, might change my mind tomorrow. I also felt a lag in the middle.
I especially like S5, I can see the handy-man boy, loved that, and can hear the post-drip silence.
Another favorite is S9, I can see her lopsided face dripping. And I liked the "almost".
Great job.
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