Just a Man

[Malu]

Warmth of the sun
Story of the breeze
Melody of the sea
Whispers of the valley
Nurturing me

I can see (from a previous comment) that you've made an edit on this. You could keep the original in the top post and just add your edit at the top of it, it makes it easier to compare them.
About the poem.. I feel there are to many "of the" in this short poem. For me, the poem would come to life more without the repetition. Mix up the lines a bit.
Just my personal opinion, for you to use or discard as you see fit.

That is good input, I think the style of repetition can be effective but mixing things up definitely doesn't hurt! Thanks for the feedback

---

Warmth of the sun
Story of the breeze
Melody of the sea
Whispers of the valley
Nurturing me

I can see (from a previous comment) that you've made an edit on this. You could keep the original in the top post and just add your edit at the top of it, it makes it easier to compare them.
About the poem.. I feel there are to many "of the" in this short poem. For me, the poem would come to life more without the repetition. Mix up the lines a bit.
Just my personal opinion, for you to use or discard as you see fit.

This is pretty good observation. I had read an article about how poison the word "of" s in poetry. Can't remember the name but the jist was pretty much avoid the word if you can, it is the destroyer of poetry.

Did not know that, thanks! I'll do my best to keep that in mind

---

Warmth of the sun
Story of the breeze
Melody of the sea
Whispers of the valley
Nurturing me

it seems you like using song titles
apart from being a bigger cliche, warmth of the sun is the title of a Beach Boys song (though not a very good one )
in short poems every word and image has to count.

I did not even notice that one haha, the only Beach Boys song I know is California girls haha, thanks again!