Sleeping rough on canvas

[Keith]

This poem seems fine. Only I wondered why you prefer critiques over saying critics in the middle stanza. I guess either way works. Unless critiques holds more significance.

Even the last part, like listing with commas, seems all right here.

Hi Rowens, critiques is a mistake I will change it to critics thanks for pointing it out I could have read this a million times and I would still have read that as critics. The listing with commas, was deliberate I was trying to be disjointed and agitated, saying it to someone without eye contact. Getting ready to do another painting. If that makes sense. Thank you for your helpful comments. TOMH

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Hi,
This one has had me comming back a few times for a re-read. I love the plot and think your title works really well.
Like rowens i am a bit puzzled over the interchange between critiques / critics...but it works just fine as it is. (it does make me pause and re-read - just thought i would add my agree comment to rowens on this)
The first stanza does a great job of grabbing my attention. perhaps don't need tube in last line of 1st but not particulalry distracted by this - just feels one word too many. (Not understanding the relevance of bread and cheese though... is it just a simple image for living a poverty struck life?)
Another great read AJ.

Thank you for taking the time AJ, you have picked out the parts I struggled with, I want to keep tube station so I will maybe split and add a line. Yes bread and cheese, this when linked with farmhouse was supposed to change his cell into a French countryside scene with the mad painter suffering for his art with a simple life. Probably all in my head again but also the food would change the colour and texture of his next painting.

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The poem speaks to the artist in me. You have an interesting metaphor in your homeless self as a struggling and reluctant artist. I had some trouble with the first person usage in the initial stanza. Probably just the first 'I'. If it was 'they', maybe it would read better for me. I like this concept a lot Keith! Cheers, your freind in pen/Chris

Thanks Chris, the I opening is important to me as it is used to show my painters madness and that he is not responsible for his actions, as you say homeless and suffering for his art. I guess there is a little bit of me in this, more on the lines that what he sees as a masterpiece others see no more than shite on a wall. Cheers Keith