09-22-2013, 12:57 AM
Hi,
This one has had me comming back a few times for a re-read. I love the plot and think your title works really well.
Like rowens i am a bit puzzled over the interchange between critiques / critics...but it works just fine as it is. (it does make me pause and re-read - just thought i would add my agree comment to rowens on this)
The first stanza does a great job of grabbing my attention. perhaps don't need tube in last line of 1st but not particulalry distracted by this - just feels one word too many. (Not understanding the relevance of bread and cheese though... is it just a simple image for living a poverty struck life?)
Another great read AJ.
This one has had me comming back a few times for a re-read. I love the plot and think your title works really well.
Like rowens i am a bit puzzled over the interchange between critiques / critics...but it works just fine as it is. (it does make me pause and re-read - just thought i would add my agree comment to rowens on this)
The first stanza does a great job of grabbing my attention. perhaps don't need tube in last line of 1st but not particulalry distracted by this - just feels one word too many. (Not understanding the relevance of bread and cheese though... is it just a simple image for living a poverty struck life?)
Another great read AJ.