09-20-2013, 04:25 AM
I find it interesting that what one person says you should change "grows and goes" was actually one of my favorite lines. I hope you decide to leave it. I enjoyed the rhyme.
I personally enjoy a bit more vivid imagery. I like to take advantage of words like "pretty" eyes.. why are they pretty? Are they green? Are they heavy with thick black lashes? But, hey, that's just me and I really couldn't find anything else to criticize
haha
I picture the ghosts of these people. Not that they aren't still living! Just perhaps I'm sitting in my recliner downstarirs.. and whisps of memories are comfortingly floating through my mind. Thank you for sharing.
I personally enjoy a bit more vivid imagery. I like to take advantage of words like "pretty" eyes.. why are they pretty? Are they green? Are they heavy with thick black lashes? But, hey, that's just me and I really couldn't find anything else to criticize
hahaI picture the ghosts of these people. Not that they aren't still living! Just perhaps I'm sitting in my recliner downstarirs.. and whisps of memories are comfortingly floating through my mind. Thank you for sharing.