The Dock at Parsons Lake

[Keith]

Dark has driven its tent spike into this side of the world      
and I just want everyone to shut the fuck up, turn down      
or off or out, so I can be alone      Great opening I feel like I should be quiet
with the words in your veins    
and the drug-like high waiting on your tongue.  could swap drug like for chemical or natural but I'm glad their is a way out of the dark  
     
I want the tires on the highways to quit rolling,      
this supply and demand society to forget itself and fast. the rolling tires link well with supply and demand
Maybe if it lost a few pounds of media opinions      
some handfuls of people could find God for real      
and stop calling her names like political power     
or dead presidents or replacement theology.  The voice of frustration with pace of life over reportage is excellent
     
I just want to wear your skin in the soft cricket songs of summer, I think the switch is very well done
swaying with the breeze as it hums itself around our shoulders      
and our soles grow new shoots into the sky.    
     
I want to hold the coals of your eyes  
as they blaze over me in baptizement      
nourishing drought dry wells I forgot I'm made from.   this line is intriguing but feels a little off in the phrasing.      
I just want to yield and demand with nothing but my breath,  
as you crochet the sounds into a long shawl that will protect us too many words but a fabulous image
when the flash and flush of that first bloom quiets itself      
in autumn, and I draw pictures of poems we tangled ourselves into      
by dragging my fingertips through frosted window panes we erected    

inhaling the crisp air hovering over them,      
knotting new octaves into almost silent heartbeats,      
kissing the chill from one anothers palms     I like the way you build this with shorter lines to be read quicker into the thaw,
     
until I thaw.  
And I just want to be those words in your veins, closer than home    
nearer the bone    
while cicadas wake in chorus at sunrise and I'm your mystery girl again. I had to google cicadas but the ending is a delight.

Glad your posting again, great poem, hope some of the comments help. TOMH