The Dock at Parsons Lake

[ellajam]

There is so much here so well said. Here's my meager bit of feedback, I'm just learning.

Dark has driven its tent spike into this side of the world      
and I just want everyone to shut the fuck up, turn down  
or off or out, so I can be alone    you can lose the and, otherwise great line  
with the words in your veins    
and the drug-like high waiting on your tongue.     maybe this and can go, too, love the phrase
     
I want the tires on the highways to quit rolling,      
this supply and demand society to forget itself and fast.
Maybe if it lost a few pounds of media opinions     another great line 
some handfuls of people could find God for real     something may be off here 
and stop calling her names like political power     
or dead presidents or replacement theology.    
     
I just want to wear your skin in the soft cricket songs of summer,      
swaying with the breeze as it hums itself around our shoulders      
and our soles grow new shoots into the sky.     beautiful section
     
I want to hold the coals of your eyes  
as they blaze over me in baptizement      
nourishing drought dry wells I forgot I'm made from.    
     
I just want to yield and demand with nothing but my breath,  
as you crochet the sounds into a long shawl that will protect us    love crochet the sounds, then a little wordy
when the flash and flush of that first bloom quiets itself      
in autumn, and I draw pictures of poems we tangled ourselves into      great line again
by dragging my fingertips through frosted window panes we erected    

inhaling the crisp air hovering over them,      
knotting new octaves into almost silent heartbeats,      
kissing the chill from one anothers palms    
     
until I thaw.  
And I just want to be those words in your veins, closer than home    
nearer the bone    
while cicadas wake in chorus at sunrise and I'm your mystery girl again.

Feel free to ignore, thanks for letting me practice on you. I really enjoyed the read.