09-15-2013, 02:15 AM
This is in Novice, but line by line is on again I've noticed.
Of many, we are one.
Who are the others then?
They recline amidst the the warzones.
Two thes here. This dumb Google Chrome is telling me amidst and warzones aren't words, and it might be right about warzones, but I think it's time warzones gets away with being a word. You can look into it.
Luxury springs from foaming mouths,
And they sip tea steeped in sickle cells.
Born a patriot,
Weeping and cheering their country
From their bedsides.
There are enough hypocrites,
To mourn a dying man,
Yet see others fall like cherries,
And see their souls blossoming in the haze.
We watched them fly with the current,
Never remembered,
Until I met the wind.
Then each voice was a feather,
Thirsting for the sky.
And together, they gave us wings.
There is something here to work with. Maybe more than I'm admitting right now. Still, I think it needs work, and want to read it again and think about it more. Going through it, I didn't have much to say. But maybe I can soon. This happens a lot.
Of many, we are one.
Who are the others then?
They recline amidst the the warzones.
Two thes here. This dumb Google Chrome is telling me amidst and warzones aren't words, and it might be right about warzones, but I think it's time warzones gets away with being a word. You can look into it.
Luxury springs from foaming mouths,
And they sip tea steeped in sickle cells.
Born a patriot,
Weeping and cheering their country
From their bedsides.
There are enough hypocrites,
To mourn a dying man,
Yet see others fall like cherries,
And see their souls blossoming in the haze.
We watched them fly with the current,
Never remembered,
Until I met the wind.
Then each voice was a feather,
Thirsting for the sky.
And together, they gave us wings.
There is something here to work with. Maybe more than I'm admitting right now. Still, I think it needs work, and want to read it again and think about it more. Going through it, I didn't have much to say. But maybe I can soon. This happens a lot.