09-15-2013, 01:25 AM
The inanity of a rhetorical question as a title generally speaks for itself. Why is this inane? It is inane because the writer is not going to purpose a statement with which he disagrees. I would point out that this is a type of informal fallacy, but in this case the conclusion is obviously true, at least as far as the writer is concerned, I assume no one is going to offer a counter argument.
You seem to write mostly in dependent clauses, or dependent clauses that are attached to independent clauses but have no real connection to them. That is not a style, that is simply poor writing. Examples:
"Glares off her hazel, glistening eyes mirror to mine." (Dependent clause - senseless)
"Glowing faintly in skies of gray, burning insanity" (Attached but still senseless)
Generally though, this piece of writing is simply vague unattached statements as it offhandedly throws out phrases like:
"her life has already become" Who is she? Oh I see it must be "Glares off her hazel".
I could bring out nearly every line of this poem and show that it is grammatically a mess, or even if it vaguely resembles a complete sentence it still makes no sense.
I would suggest learning to write in short sentences that make sense. Writing poetry is much harder than reading something you really haven't a clue about and then trying to mimic it, which is what I must assume you are attempting here.
Sorry, I would like to say something positive about this, I really would, but milo is right. It is as though you went to the art store and bought an art kit, went home and started slapping paint on the canvas without having a clue as to what you are doing; unaware of depth, perspective, shading, texture, etc.
Dale
You seem to write mostly in dependent clauses, or dependent clauses that are attached to independent clauses but have no real connection to them. That is not a style, that is simply poor writing. Examples:
"Glares off her hazel, glistening eyes mirror to mine." (Dependent clause - senseless)
"Glowing faintly in skies of gray, burning insanity" (Attached but still senseless)
Generally though, this piece of writing is simply vague unattached statements as it offhandedly throws out phrases like:
"her life has already become" Who is she? Oh I see it must be "Glares off her hazel".
I could bring out nearly every line of this poem and show that it is grammatically a mess, or even if it vaguely resembles a complete sentence it still makes no sense.
I would suggest learning to write in short sentences that make sense. Writing poetry is much harder than reading something you really haven't a clue about and then trying to mimic it, which is what I must assume you are attempting here.
Sorry, I would like to say something positive about this, I really would, but milo is right. It is as though you went to the art store and bought an art kit, went home and started slapping paint on the canvas without having a clue as to what you are doing; unaware of depth, perspective, shading, texture, etc.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.