09-13-2013, 03:46 PM
(07-27-2013, 10:13 PM)rowens Wrote: The sentences are sloppy, so are the rhymes.You commented this on a guy with one star, he's clearly extremely new to this and yet all you do is call it sloppy, nothing constructive. That's great feedback
The rhymes run the thing mad.
(07-27-2013, 10:22 PM)Ghassan Wrote:Here is another great example of someone having to get you to be constructive. Rather than you being constructive from the start.(07-27-2013, 10:20 PM)rowens Wrote: You could try to say more with the subject without being controlled by the end rhymes. Smooth out the sentences, then work on giving rhymes to the lines. Rhymes that feel less forced, and more natural.Thanks.. I shall work on it and repost it soon, really looking forward to getting more tips from you and everyone else..