09-12-2013, 08:07 AM
It's poetry all right. Doesn't need much fixing up. I'm in a decent mood.
Only it seems to me that poetry isn't a bandage. As persuasive as your writing here is, I don't believe it. That doesn't mean your poem doesn't work. It does work, and I suspect some will believe it. Really, I just don't agree with it. Don't want to.
It's nice how you use the metaphor stanza as a kind of bridge. Not to get complicated, I won't say anything else about that part. In the world of this poem, it is very good.
Only it seems to me that poetry isn't a bandage. As persuasive as your writing here is, I don't believe it. That doesn't mean your poem doesn't work. It does work, and I suspect some will believe it. Really, I just don't agree with it. Don't want to.
It's nice how you use the metaphor stanza as a kind of bridge. Not to get complicated, I won't say anything else about that part. In the world of this poem, it is very good.