09-12-2013, 03:39 AM
It's hard to critique this poem. I read it a few times yesterday, I think. Or whenever it was first posted. It works in a strange way. Every bit of it. I suspect it wouldn't make it very far with some boring poetry editor, and it apparently has yet to make it very far on this site. Still, it just feels right to me. Maybe a comma in: so very big, he is bigger than life!...All the normally frowned upon things somehow work in this poem. The subject matter is crude, those normally frowned upon things match its crudeness in an interesting way. The lines like: So very much have I, and just for me to hang upon my wall proud, you know? But, still, it just feels right. I think I simply mean that after reading it over and over, I just like it.