What I'll Do

[ellajam]

Tonight, I'll lay myself to rest
Inside the empty cave beneath my breast;
An altar, sacristy and tomb
Carved out from bones and blood and flesh.

I'll fill it up with songs that burn
My eyes yet soothe my soul in turn;
And memories that ache against
My ribcage, where they beat and churn.

Then, in this hollow home I'll grieve
'Til new tissues, tendons interweave -
Because you take my heart with you
Every time you leave.

---

This is my first submission here, and the first poem I've written in a very long while. I would love encouragement, feedback, or constructive criticism.

I really like your description of the cave, the way songs burn, and your lines of healing at the end, but the last two lines just sunk, they state the obvious and for me added nothing.

I'm a newbie here too. someone will probably come along to remind you that a major rule here is critiquing someone else's poem before posting your own. Welcome