A Baptist Observes Mardi Gras

[Todd]

Hi Chris,

For me this is a good concept weighed down by too many modifiers. It also doesn't seem to get to the point quick enough. Comments below:

Sol warily closes--It got dark. Sol just feels a bit too heavy handed here for a simple concept. The personification doesn't buy you anything in my opinion
his reticent eye and
turns an averse shoulder
on this evening’s facade.

--warily, reticent, averse...it just seems too much. It's like you're groping for the best word and ending up with something less.

Queer zombies awaken
and harlequins alike,--okay some action
all seeking pretexts to
immortalize the night.--This sounds interesting, but mostly just feels like filler. Nothing happens. I question whether you need it. Show them immortalizing the night, and it would likely be stronger. This to me is one of those "I am going to ask you a question" strophes...just ask the question

They snake asphalt streets;--I like snake. I feel you could do more with the image. Asphalt streets doesn't add much. Try pushing this more
drink spirits from bottles,--Here's another idea that's cool phrasing that you could push more. I feel you're just brushing against the content that you could actually have
then dance the night lifeless,--Like this line. If it were "They dance the night lifeless" it might serve as a stronger opening line
shaking canes and rattles.--again like the spirits line you can push this more

In ill-defined ranks, they--ill-defined is like unique. It doesn't do anything for you. Why the break on they?
reel The Big-Uneasy--I like this play on the name
on circuitous paths--again an image showing the type of path would be better than circuitous
befitting the anguine. --I like the word choice. That said, we're back to the black asphalt. You have that line and these two doing little to advance the poem. What do these two lines really give you?

There’s no Yellow Brick Road,
or an Appian Way;--I'd be tempted to put the real road ahead of the fanciful road. That said, I need more dark fantasy leading up to these lines
just idle routes to swill--I like swill here
this eve oblivious.

Dim wits in beer light,
who seek neon beacons
and sing in false temples
that no one has faith in.--More build up to get here.

I hope that was at least helpful in some way. It didn't work for me. That said, I think if you push yourself you could take this somewhere interesting.

Best,

Todd